Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Press Conference on Cheney Shooting

A possible scenario if a press conference were held immediately.

White House Press Office (WHPO):  We have called you here to inform you that the Vice President has been involved in a hunting accident while on a weekend trip to Texas.  The Vice President, while hunting quail on the Armstrong Ranch, accidentally fired his shotgun while Mr. Henry Whittington, a friend, was in the line of fire.

Mr. Whittington received birdshot wounds to the face and torso, and is receiving treatment at thin&e Christus Spohn Hospital Corpus Christi-Memorial.

Press Corps (PC): Is he dead?

WHPO: No, Mr. Whittington is receiving treatment at the hospital.

PC: Is he going to die?

WHPO:  He was admitted two hours ago and we do not have further information at this time.

PC: So, he could be dead?

WHPO:  I have no information at this time to answer that, the accident occurred about three hours ago and Mr. Whittington was admitted to the hospital only two hours ago.

PC: Has Cheney offered to resign as Vice President due to shooting this person?  And if not, does he plan to do so?

WHPO:  The Vice President is at the hospital at this time making sure that his friend is receiving proper care.

PC: Do you expect him to offer his resignation shortly?

WHPO:  That will be addressed at a later time.  The Vice President has been tied up seeing that Mr. Whittington is taken care of.

PC: “Taken care of”, should we read anything into that?

WHPO:  Are you out of your mind?  That is all the time we have now.  We will have a follow up tomorrow.

This leads to the headline:
“CHENEY MAY HAVE KILLED MAN BY SHOOTING HIM IN FACE.  WHITE HOUSE STATES MAN WILL BE “TAKEN CARE OF”.

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