Saturday, January 10, 2009

Fighting With My Personal Devils

For the first time in over 30 years, I am alone.

The wife is back in Montana, and Chris left for Ft. Benning last Thursday. I haven't lived by myself since the late '70's. I had roommates, then my wife and the kid. Now it's just me, the dog, my a**hole cat and the bird. (I tried to slip the cat into my wife's suitcase when she left, but the bastard wouldn't keep quiet... note: next time drug the cat first)

My devils...

1) I am not a cook, don't like to do it and hate the aftermath (cleanup).

2) I despise housecleaning, I did the vehicles, yard and repairs around the house, unless the belt broke on the vacuum cleaner, I didn't touch it.

3) My Mom scared the hell out of me the day Chris left for boot. She called me, which she never does, she and my brother had a big fight and she wanted to come back to L.A.. She's semi-invalid and I'm gone everyday anywhere from 10 to 18 hours. I can't take care of her like my bum brother can, that meant selling her house (in this market) and finding an assisted living place close by that wouldn't wipe out her savings too quickly. I love my Mom and would do anything for her, but my wife didn't leave me in the best financial shape, so it was more crap piled on top of everything else.

I called today after researching things and...of course, they've made up...she was just mad and frustrated because my brother was feeling put upon by having to cater to her necessities, even though he's 50 years old and never held one of his few jobs for more than a year.

4) While I love "classic rock", I started to listen to the stuff my kid was listening to and I think all that teenage angst is getting to me. Two songs that come to mind...

I've Given Up: Linkin Park

I Don't Care: Apocalyptica

Actually, I'm in a really good mood. I get to have my midlife crisis foisted upon me. My whole life has changed in the last 9 months, and in some ways it is better. My fear is that while I've always talked to my dog, I'm worried that like "Terrible Troy" over at the Rott, Ralph is going to start talking back...and telling me what I should do about it.

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